CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:33 PM

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."|

MORE TO COME :wink: KEEP ENJOYING

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:34 PM

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the sam! e error message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:36 PM

Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:37 PM

Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$ :twisted:

--------------------------------------------------

Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:39 PM

Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer:: "A white one."

--------------------------------------------------

Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:40 PM

Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

--------------------------------------------------

Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:41 PM

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

--------------------------------------------------

Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

--------------------------------------------------

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

--------------------------------------------------

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:42 PM

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

--------------------------------------------------

Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know whe! n it's ready?"

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:43 PM

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.

Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE

**Maksa** · 27th December 2005, 04:44 PM

Customer care officer: I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?

Customer: sure

Customer care officer: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Customer: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

HOPE U ENJOYED IT.... 8) HA HA HA !!!![/b]

27th December 2005, 04:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK: 1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer "No." Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."\| MORE TO COME :wink: KEEP ENJOYING __________________

27th December 2005, 04:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the sam! e error message." Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?" Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?" __________________

27th December 2005, 04:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done." Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'." Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says." Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'." Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk." Customer:: "What?" Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?" Customer: "No..." __________________

27th December 2005, 04:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?" Tech Support:: ?!%#$ :twisted: -------------------------------------------------- Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" __________________

27th December 2005, 04:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?" Customer:: "A white one." -------------------------------------------------- Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt." Customer:: "How do you spell that?" __________________

27th December 2005, 04:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?" Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store." -------------------------------------------------- Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?" Customer: "Pentium." __________________

27th December 2005, 04:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion." -------------------------------------------------- Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder." -------------------------------------------------- Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?" -------------------------------------------------- Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly." Tech Support: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside." __________________

27th December 2005, 04:42 PM	#8 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours." Customer: "Is that Eastern time?" -------------------------------------------------- Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?" Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." Tech Support:: "Well?" Customer: "How do I know whe! n it's ready?" __________________

27th December 2005, 04:43 PM	#9 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty. Tech: What's the problem? User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply. Tech: You'll need a new power supply. User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files. Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it. User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up. Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem. User: I knew it! Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes. 10 minutes later. User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking. Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using? User: MS-DOS 6.22. Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes. 1 hour later. User: I need a new power supply. Tech: How did you come to that conclusion? User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply. Tech: Then what did he say? User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE __________________

27th December 2005, 04:44 PM	#10 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,382	CALL CENTRE FUN - 100% FUN Customer care officer: I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out? Customer: sure Customer care officer: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'? Customer: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer? HOPE U ENJOYED IT.... 8) HA HA HA !!!![/b] __________________

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