The Future of Airlines in America

**Maksa** · 27th September 2006, 03:04 PM

The Future of Airlines in America

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?

Passenger: Sure.

Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!

Passenger: What for?

Attendant: For telling you where to sit.

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat-locator fee of $5. It's
the airline's new policy.

Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.

Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?

Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear
about this.

Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?

Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant: No problem (grunts). Up we go, and done! That will be $10,
please.

Passenger: What?

Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.

Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, you're right -- you can't stand. You need to sit, and
fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But first I
need that $10.

Passenger: No way.

Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the Air
Marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.

Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?

Attendant: No, but there's a $50 Air-Marshal hailing fee.

Passenger: Oh, all right, here -- take the $10. I can't believe this.

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I
can do for you?

Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to
work. Can you fix it?

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters
into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.

Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?

Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of
charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!

Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents.

Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What
the heck can I do with this?

Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory .!

27th September 2006, 03:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,186	The Future of Airlines in America The Future of Airlines in America Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket? Passenger: Sure. Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please! Passenger: What for? Attendant: For telling you where to sit. Passenger: But I already knew where to sit. Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat-locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy. Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it. Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not? Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this. Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you? Passenger: That would be swell, thanks. Attendant: No problem (grunts). Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please. Passenger: What? Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee. Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it. Attendant: Actually, you're right -- you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But first I need that $10. Passenger: No way. Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the Air Marshal. And you really don't want me to do that. Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me? Attendant: No, but there's a $50 Air-Marshal hailing fee. Passenger: Oh, all right, here -- take the $10. I can't believe this. Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you? Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it? Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes. Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air? Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents. Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar? Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go! Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar. Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents. Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this? Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory .! __________________

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