shadenights

Want to Break up with your GIRLFRIEND?

Here is the best way to let a gal go.


1`Don't do a disappearing act. Sadly this is an all too common tactic with men, but listen up… it's just not cool. Women need some sort of closure, and you owe her some kind of explanation before you decide to vanish.


2`Do consider the timing. Though it's not totally your responsibility to see how she survives the breakup, you can help ease the transition by considering when you break the news. Don't be an extra-special jerk by delivering the news when she's already going through a rough patch. If she lost her job yesterday, give it a little time before having the big talk.


3`Don't rely on technology. We live in a world of cell phones, Blackberries, and SMS, which means it's easier than ever to get in touch with each other. But, please don't use it as a way to escape confrontation. Using technology to break up is a cowardly act-it means you don't have the guts to face your girl. the very least you can do is honour that connection by ending it in person."


4`Do give her face time. You may be tempted to deliver the news and then get the heck out of there, but there's nothing worse than bringing up the subject when you don't have adequate time to discuss it. Yes, that means you will have to talk to her and you might have to witness some tears, but it's the right thing to do


5`Do choose your location wisely. There's no reason to break the news behind closed doors-but a bit of privacy is a good thing. What you shouldn't do is deliver the news someplace where she'll lose dignity. This is between the two of you, not your whole crowd. Think neutral, think semi-private, and let her save face.


6`Don't be too honest. Women need "reasons" so they can accept the breakup and move on. But there's one big caveat… don't be spiteful or hurtful. No woman wants to hear that you're dumping her because she has bad breath or she's no longer attractive to you or you're insanely attracted to her best friend. These kinds of reflections shouldn't be shared. Try saying something like "Both of us are good people, but I don't think we're the right fit together."


7`Don't hedge. You start to deliver the news, you see her lip quiver, and you think, Oh no, she's going to cry. Should you attempt to soften the blow by saying "Well, there might be a chance for us in the future but right now the timing isn't good" or "Maybe when things quiet down at work" or "I think I just need a break"? No, no, no! Giving a woman a false sense of hope will not help her heal. If you know it's over, spare her the agony of pretending that you might call her sometime when you won't.


8`Don't freak if she gets emotional. We're reputed to be the more sensitive sex, remember? So yes, there's a chance that your gal might start sobbing or screaming or otherwise emoting (and you need to let her). If she gets hostile or weepy, stay calm and let her get angry or hysterical for a little while; remember, you've been thinking about the breakup for weeks, she heard about it 10 seconds ago.If she gets more and more worked up as the minutes pass, however, take your leave and give her some down time to adjust to the new information.


9`Don't use the "It's not you, it's me" line. Everyone knows if someone leaves you it's because you're not who they want and that's the bottom line. Anyone on the receiving end of this line can see through it.. She suggests a better phrase to utter might be, "Who you are and what you want are absolutely terrific, but where I am right now is a very different place.


10`Do break up with her before starting anything else! That's called cheating! And if you intentionally stray in an effort to make her break up with you, then you deserve whatever reaction you get! Also, forget about using the "I've met someone else" escape clause.? Mentioning another woman really hurts and intensifies the pain.


11`Do keep in touch, but only on special occasions. Calling just to check up on her in a week or a month is not really helpful. It just confuses things and catapults you back into the forefront of her mind. There is one exception here though… the special occasion. If it's her birthday then it is nice to call to wish her well. Be acquaintances and keep in mind that acquaintances rarely talk more than twice a year..


12`Do reassure her. One final point-let her know that she mattered saying something like "I enjoyed being with you, and I value the time we spent together, but we just aren't right for the long run." She needs to know that you didn't consider her 'a waste of time' or unimportant. That will help her risk giving her heart to someone else in the future.

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