JOKES 4 u..........from me.....

viya_18 · 16th April 2007, 02:18 AM

A DEAN was speaking to the students regarding rules of the college: " If any of the guys enter the gals' hostel Rs.100 fine for the first time Rs.200 fine for the 2nd time Rs.500 fine for the 3rd time." Itne me

Munnabhai ne poocha "Monthly Pass ka kitna lagega Mamu?"

++++++++++++++++++

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman
———————————————————-

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
———————————————————–

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
————————————————————

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied," In the lake."
-Henny Youngman
————————————————————–

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman
—————————————————————–

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
—————————————————————-

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
————————————————————–

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
———————————————————

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
———————————————————

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
———————————————————–

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
———————————————————-

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
———————————————————-

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
———————————————————

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
———————————————————-

A man placed an advertisement in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
———————————————————

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a Millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
"A billionaire." she replied.
———————————————————-

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
———————————————————-

It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
———————————————————-

Losing a wife can be very hard.
In my case, it was almost impossible.
——————————————————

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
———————————————————

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
———————————————————-

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says," Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."
———————————————————

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
———————————————————-

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.

**Maksa** · 17th April 2007, 12:06 AM

already posted all these on our site

16th April 2007, 02:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
viya_18 Friendly Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Chennai Posts: 23	JOKES 4 u..........from me..... A DEAN was speaking to the students regarding rules of the college: " If any of the guys enter the gals' hostel Rs.100 fine for the first time Rs.200 fine for the 2nd time Rs.500 fine for the 3rd time." Itne me Munnabhai ne poocha "Monthly Pass ka kitna lagega Mamu?" ++++++++++++++++++ My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman ———————————————————- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield ———————————————————– A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle ———————————————————— I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied," In the lake." -Henny Youngman ————————————————————– The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman —————————————————————– After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." —————————————————————- When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ————————————————————– I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her. ——————————————————— My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends. ——————————————————— A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did. ———————————————————– Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. ———————————————————- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." ———————————————————- Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. ——————————————————— Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late. ———————————————————- A man placed an advertisement in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine." ——————————————————— A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a Millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied. ———————————————————- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. ———————————————————- It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. ———————————————————- Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. —————————————————— Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. ——————————————————— A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ———————————————————- A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says," Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead." ——————————————————— The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. ———————————————————- First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive. __________________ Sweet Priya Last edited by Maksa; 17th April 2007 at 12:05 AM.

17th April 2007, 12:06 AM	#2 (permalink)
Maksa Friendly Administrator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rajkot (INDIA) Posts: 4,326	already posted all these on our site __________________

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Sardar Jokes	Maksa	Jokes (Non English)	26	19th July 2008 02:29 PM
Nice jokes	shadenights	Jokes (English Only)	2	16th October 2007 10:36 AM
Laalo Prasad Yadav Jokes - Really Funny One	Maksa	Jokes (English Only)	4	24th May 2007 08:30 PM
jokes	abeer	Jokes (English Only)	3	8th January 2007 12:30 PM
Actual call center jokes	Maksa	Jokes (English Only)	2	19th December 2006 03:31 PM

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)