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3rd May 2005, 09:14 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Friendly Member  Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 340
 |  CHAKUDA::JOKE SERIES.. Ek fool gulab ka! “Maangta hoon to deti nahi, jawab meri baat ka” “Deti hai to khada ho jata hai, rome rome jazbat ka” “Kehta hoon use aise na andar rakho, yun jawab sawal ka” “Wo kehti hai, pahle tum dikhao, Rukh apne baat ka” “Kal sham ko jab kar rahe the sath me, kam apne office ka” “Khul gaya achanak uske aankhon ke samne, bhed coding logic ka” “Ishara karke kehti hai pakadane ko mujhko, Cup garam coffee ka” “Aur khud mera pakad leti hai.. thanda glass juice ka” “Sochta hoon aaj bahon me pakad ke daal hi doon, balon me fool gulab ka” “Dalte hi gir jata hai, patta patta gulab ka...”
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3rd May 2005, 09:27 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Friendly Member Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 340
| !!::Accident::!! A Pakistani and an Indian get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the Indian sees the Pakistani's car and asks, "So you're a Pakistani. I'm an Indian. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." The Pakistani replies, "I agree with you completely this must be a sign from Allah." The Indian continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then he hands the bottle to the Pakistani. The Pakistani says : "Even though alcohol is banned by Islam but it looks like Allah wanted us to drink." He takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the Indian. The Indian takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the Pakistani. The Pakistani asks, "Aren't you having any?" The Indian replies, "No... I think I'll wait for the police!"
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12th May 2005, 03:52 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Friendly Member Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 340
| CHAKUDA::JOKE SERIES.. A young boy comes running down the street looking for a cop. He finds one and then begs, "Please, officer, come back to the bar with me, my father's in a fight." Well, they get back to the bar and there's three guys fighting like you wouldn't believe. After a while the cop turns to the kid and says, "Okay, which one's your father." The kid looks up at the cop and says, "I don't know, officer, that's what they're fighting about." ------------------------------------- Every flower does not xpress luv but rose did it. Every plant cannot live without water but cactus did it. Every monkey cannot read this message but u did it... ========================================== A MAN WAS SLEEPING IN HIS HOUSE. SUDDENLY GOD APPEARED & SAID, "GO OUT & ENJOY. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS." HE DID SO & MET WITH AN ACCIDENT & DIED. IN HEAVEN, HE ASKED GOD, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME. GOD REPLIED," SORRY SON, MONTH END, HAD TO ACHIEVE TARGET.. " ============================================ A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God,INDIA, they decided to forward it to the President of the India as a joke. The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid. The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read: "Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes. ========================================== A Project Manager working in a MNC, as usual after lunch goes in cafeteria for coffee. He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there. so he decides to have fun with him. He calls him Project Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn? Canteen boy smiles... Project Manager - what are your future plans? Canteen boy keeps quite... Project Manager - Jab mai Mumbai aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch nahi tha....Aaj mere paas naam hai, shohrat hai, paisa hai, investments hai,securities hai....tumhare paas kya hai? Canteen boy - Sa'ab mere paas kaam hai.... Project Manager leaves the cafeteria silently....... ============================================= Bad temper problem Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!! _______________________________________ Will I live any longer? Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer. _______________________________________ I want to lose some weight ( my Favourite) A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor. John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat? Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off. _______________________________________ A man with a glass eye is here to see you Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye? _______________________________________ The results of the X-ray Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show? Doctor: Absolutely nothing! _______________________________________ A very interesting fact Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body? Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room! _______________________________________ I have bad and very bad news Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news? Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. _______________________________________ And the last piece Get me an ambulence now A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help. Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!
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12th May 2005, 03:53 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Friendly Member Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 340
| CHAKUDA::JOKE SERIES.. Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him: "God when shall I see the defeat of Bush." God replies: "Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away. Laaloo Yadav visits God and asks him: "God when shall I see Bihar becoming a prosperous and happy state. "God replies: " Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this Laloo starts crying and goes away. Gen Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him: "God when shall I see the capture of Kashmir by Pakistan." Hearing this, God starts crying. Musharaff is astounded and asks: "God, why are you crying? " God replies: "Son, I will not see it in my lifetime.
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